Archive | February, 2012

The Little Things

12 Feb

My favorite thing this week:

When I put Clara to bed the other night she looked at Joel, blew him a kiss, and said “Wuv ooo, daddy.”

Melt. My. Heart.

Dinner and Dancing

9 Feb

Tuesday night, as Clara and I waited for Joel to get home from class (Mondays and Tuesdays are our long days), I decided to make a change.  I turned off the Food Network, which is my normal background noise for the day and turned on my iPod.  I knew that Clara liked music in the car, but hadn’t really tried it at home in a while, so I thought I’d see how she reacted to it.

I turned on Needtobreathe‘s The Reckoning.  I absolutely love Needtobreathe.  Joel and I actually went to their concert at the Cat’s Cradle a couple years ago, while I was pregnant.  It was a fantastic show- they are just as good live as they are on their album – if not better.  Anyway, we bought the new album a while back, but I hadn’t gotten to listen to it all the way through yet.  Clara loved it.  We sang and danced, and she even sat in my lap for about 3 songs straight, which if you know my daughter, is a big thing.  She clapped and cheered after every song.

She sat in her chair and snacked and sang while I made breakfast for dinner and was content.  Again, this is a feat.

Anyway, it was a really pleasant evening, during the normally witching hours when nothing can keep Clara happy except the sound of her daddy coming in the door.

And as far as the album goes: in short, I love it.  You know how sometimes there will be a fantastic album and then a not so fantastic one to follow it up?  Not so here.  Classic, catchy Needtobreathe sound.  Great lyrics.

And I can’t wait until April 26.  For our anniversary, Joel got me some ticketmaster gift cards to use on anything I wanted.  After some searching, I found that Needtobreathe is coming back.  And so that is what I bought.  Yay!  So fun!!

As I type this, The Reckoning is playing in our kitchen again.  Clara is eating apple slices and goldfish in her highchair.  She is swaying back and forth to the beat, and even singing an occasional line.  I love it.

The Age of “Mine”

7 Feb

Clara has entered the age of “mine,” which apparently starts at 16 months.

It all started last week with a book.  She held up one of her board books and said something unintelligible that sounded very important and very clearly in the middle of that sentence was “mine.”

And so it begins….

The Cruelty of Law School

2 Feb

There is a special kind of cruelty that the families of graduate students know.  I think it’s probably true for any grad school, not just law school, but that happens to be my specific experience.

The first year is tough.  There is so much work that the student pretty much disappears.  You might see them enough to say goodnight before you go to sleep, and if you’re in the unfortunate situation where you work weekends, like I do, you might get to say goodbye to them before you leave on Saturday morning.  Besides that, there’s not much time together.  Exams start and everything ramps up as they study for those first law school exams, wanting to do their best.  And who can fault them for that?

Then comes Christmas break.  That glorious, beautiful, and much needed break after the first semester.  All of a sudden your student is around all the time again.  But there’s also lots of traveling to be done, parties to attend, christmas shopping, decorating… well, you get the picture.

And then second semester hits.  Once again, your student disappears.  And so it continues.

I always have a tough time adjusting when Joel goes back to school for a new semester.  Just when I’ve gotten used to having him around all the time again and sharing those mundane daily decisions with him again, which I have to make by myself when he’s in school – and he’s gone again.  It’s just the way law school is.  But it is difficult.

He’s been back in school for about a month now, and I am still trying to get used to doing everything by myself again.  When you’ve gotten used to having two people share the responsibilities of a household, it’s really easy to feel inadequate when the laundry and dishes and trash starts to pile up, and when you forget to think about dinner for your family until 5pm, when it’s entirely too late to really cook anything and have it ready by a decent hour, considering you don’t have any food in the house because the grocery trips are now all your own again as well.

All three of us were also sick the first couple weeks that he was back in school this semester, so that didn’t help my attitude much.  I found myself, sleep-deprived, foggy, and easily irritated, yelling at my 16 month old for doing something she shouldn’t be.  Not my best mom moment.  There have been several of those over the past few weeks.  Just the same way you have bad days at work, bad driving days, bad cooking days… I now have bad mom days.  Might be the worst of all.

I don’t mean for that to sound complainy.  I’m incredibly blessed in my life.  But the reality is that it is really hard for me to entirely change things like this every 4 months or so.  I suppose I’m a creature of habit.  Maybe we all are.

I am really thankful for a few friends who tell me that it’s ok to have bad days, even bad weeks.  And I know that they mean it.  And even though I know that deep down before they say it, sometimes you just really need to hear someone say those words.