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How Infants are Like Jiu-Jitsu… and other randomness

22 Oct

Leave it to my husband to equate babies to a sport.  Since I married Joel, I’ve heard about brazilian jiu-jitsu over and over (and over) again.  He loves to go up to his gym – Forged Fitness – and “beat up” other guys (or get beaten up as the case may be).  One of the things I’ve heard him mention more than once is that to be successful against your opponent you have to control their head and their hips.  After we were home from the hospital for a couple of days, Joel says to me: “You know, I’ve always been afraid to hold other people’s babies.  I didn’t know what to do, and I was afraid I’d drop them.  But I realized babies are really like jiu-jitsu… you just have to control their heads and their hips, and you’re good.”  I laughed for quite a while at this, but he is kind of right… I just never would have equated it to that sport.  That’s my husband for you…

Clara has decided that her new favorite game is trying to squirt whoever is changing her diaper with poop while the diaper is off.  Now, normally I would think its pretty gross, but for some reason I just find it hilarious.  One night, she had a particularly explosive poop, and despite having a wipe in his hand that he could have blocked it with, instead, Joel turned her and aimed it at me!  Luckily, he missed, but we had a great laugh about it, and I’ll never let him live down the fact that he tried to get Clara to poop on me.

In law school news, Joel had a midterm in one of his classes the week after Clara was born.  He tried his best to study, despite all the distractions that were going on.  And it paid off.  I’m proud to report that Joel got 34 of 35 questions right on that exam, tying with 3 others for the highest (or second highest, I can’t remember) grade in the class!!  Way to go, Love!  I’m so proud!

Remember this?  I love this movie, but this part is really my favorite – I’ve taken to calling Clara “my Squishy”, because she is so squishy and lovable.  I love our cuddle times… oh man.  Can’t believe that sooner than I like to think, she’ll be too big to want to cuddle with us.

Eviction Notice

23 Sep
Warning: moody, full-term pregnant woman rant ahead. Continue at your own risk. Really, it’s not going to be pretty.

This baby is due on Saturday and is showing no signs of moving out, so I am handing her an eviction notice.

We have an appointment with our doctor today – just our weekly visit – but this time I have an agenda. I am going to talk to him about inducing labor.

I realize that people have all kinds of opinions on the subject. In fact, on every subject. And for some reason, when you’re pregnant, it’s like they think they have free license to share their unsolicited opinions. If you happen to have a negative opinion about doctors inducing labor, please just keep it to yourself.

Especially if you’ve never been pregnant. Once you are 40+ weeks pregnant and miserable, willing to do anything to get this child out even it has to come out through your nose, then you can talk to me about it. Until then, you don’t know what it’s like, and I don’t want to hear it.

Because I am miserable.

I am a mess.

I have cried every day this week. And by cried, I mean bawled. Really really ugly cry. Like my eyes are almost swollen shut from how much crying I’ve been doing.

I have been awake since 3am. This happens at least once a week now. Sometimes more often.

I have cleaned and staged my entire house for buyers who have not come to look at it.

I have baked everything in sight. Sweet scones, savory scones, candies, cookies, fruit butter, and lime curd. And I can’t even eat it, because there is no room in my stomach. It’s being squished into nothingness by this infant.

I feel trapped in my house because if I go out, I get stared at. (I am aware that I have a giant belly. The baby is not going to pop out while you’re watching. No need to stare.) Or barraged with unsolicited opinions from strangers. Or patronized. Or stared at. Oh, did I mention that already?

I am by myself all day because Joel is at law school or studying (which he totally should be – he’s doing great. I’m just lonely.)

I can’t even call anyone on the phone, because everyone answers with that same excited and hopeful tone that perhaps this is the call, and everyone has the same disappointed tone when they discover that it, in fact, is not.

I discovered this week that both my sister and I came a week late and my mom had to be induced as well – so I’m not holding out much hope that this little girl will decide to enter the world on her own.

For those who are concerned, yes, I do understand the risks. Yes, I also realize that I’m not past my due date yet. However, all my appointments are on Thursdays now. If I wait until next week to ask about it, I will already be almost a week past due, and then they still have to schedule something. And I’m not sure I can mentally or emotionally handle another 2 weeks of feeling like this. I’m pretty sure that my current emotional state isn’t very healthy for either of us.

Anyway, there’s probably not anyone still reading this. That’s fine – this is more about me venting than you reading. If, by some crazy chance someone is still reading, I’ll let you know what the doctor says.

And I’m going to post all of those recipes I’ve been baking. Yep. Current favorites: Butterscotch Cashew Bars and Jalapeno-Cheddar Scones. Not together. Ew. But separately they are both very good. And probably terrible for you. But who cares?

4am Ramblings

9 Sep

Well, good morning.

Today I woke up at 4am, for no good reason except that my back was hurting.  It was just better to get out of bed than keep tossing and turning.  I’ll be napping later, thank you very much.

So, lucky you, you get to read what my brain thinks of on 4 hours of sleep.  If you’re a regular here, you might want to get used to it… I hear that this is going to be my common state of being very soon.

1. UPS Deliveries
I love getting packages from the UPS man, or the FedEx man, or even the mailman.  I don’t discriminate.  When I know a package is coming, I check the tracking numbers obsessively.  When it’s a surprise, well, who doesn’t love a surprise package in the mail??
Yesterday I got 2 packages from the UPS man.  The pump I ordered and my diaper bag.  YAY for the diaper bag, especially.  I LOVE it.  I’ll do a full review soon, but suffice it to say, it was well worth it.

If you like sending packages, I’ll give you my address.  I love getting them.  Hahaha.

On a side note, why do the delivery guys always put the door mat over top of a large box?  What about that says “nothing to see here” ??  To me, it just draws more attention, because people are like “what the crap is going on with their doormat?”  Any thoughts?

2. My desktop computer
I have been working on a large and daunting project the past couple days – getting all my photo files organized and backed up (again).  Never fear, they are backed up.  I have had too many hard drives fail on me to chance that again.  But the issue is that everything is kinda all over the place, on multiple different harddrives, and while I have a list of what is where, I would like to have it consolidated.  The computer has been working fine – sometimes slow, but I figure that’s because it’s been on constantly for 3 years.  But for some reason, last night it stopped working.  I just tried to re-boot again, and it just makes that apple boot noise – you know the chime I mean – and spins and spins and spins.  I guess I’m going to have to make a trip to the apple store to get them to look at it… but man, I just really don’t want to.  I want it to magically start working again.  What do you think my chances are of that?

3. The office
Yesterday I had a long list of things I wanted to take care of.  I got 2 of them done.  But, to be fair, at least one of them was a large project.  I touched up the paint in our master bathroom.  This has needed to be done for a while – we put up new blinds and my first paint choice was still in existence where the old ones came down.  The second project was cleaning and organizing and decluttering the office.  Does everyone have a “dump room?”  The office was definitely mine.  It’s a single-purpose room (at least it was – now Joel uses it for studying), and easy to cut off from the rest of the house if there’s a mess in there.  Just shut the door.  Throw everything in there and shut the door.  That’s what usually happens.  And then I have to always make time for a big cleaning.  Since we’re trying to sell our house, that doesn’t really work anymore.  So, I got out my trash bags, empty plastic bins, and went to work.  It took literally all day, but I finished.

4. Selling the house
Yep, it’s on the market.  We had a showing last Saturday – our first.  We were out of town, which was probably a good thing.  I cleaned before we left on Friday, and decluttered as much as I could.  It’s a process, people.  I would love to live in a house that looks like a magazine all the time, but that just isn’t how life works.  At least not mine.
We are painting our downstairs this weekend.  Apparently, the green I painted my living room and dining room aren’t appealing to everyone.  I kinda knew this going in, but it’s our house, so we did it anyway.  So it will be a lovely barely-blue to go with our grey kitchen, white cabinets, blue countertops (we inherited those and they made the color selection process WAY more difficult… but it works now), and hardwood floors.  My dad is coming up to head up the process, and of course Joel will be here to help.  My mom and I are escaping to look at houses or visit the farmer’s market or something fun like that.

5. Dishes
I hate doing them.  That is all.

6. World Market
They are having a fall clearance sale.  I love that store.  It is kind of amazing and they have the best chai mix I’ve found.  I have tried chai almost everywhere in Raleigh since we got back from India 2 years ago.  Starbucks’ chai is terrible.  Sorry Starbucks.  I like you, really I do.  But your chai is awful.  Helios isn’t much better.  The best coffee-shop chai I’ve found is at Coffee and Crepes.  But it is still lacking.  But World Market sells a mix… I know, I know.  A mix.  But seriously, if you use milk (NOT water), it is the closest thing I’ve found to the chai I had in India.  Even Joel conceded that it’s pretty close.  Nothing will ever touch the freshly hand-ground spice mix there… but it’s close.
Also, I got a little 4-drawer library drawer set there.  It’s adorable.  Someday, when I have room an money for it, I want a big library cabinet.  You know what I mean – the card catalog kind with the little drawers?  Dude, they’re expensive.  But one day, I will have one.  And perhaps I will paint it some bright color.  Or just stain it a beautiful deep wood color.  And fill it with craft supplies.  Or something.  One day.

7. Paper-source.com
Oh, I could spend a fortune here.  I bought all the paper I used for our wedding invitations from this site.  They have all kinds of amazing things on this site.  Just a few things I’m drooling over… (but not buying because I’m DE-cluttering):

Who wouldn’t love to get mail in one of these beautiful envelopes??

If this calendar doesn’t make me want to stay organized, I don’t know what will.  I have a thing for typography and letterpress-looking numbers and letters

Oh there is so much more that I could show you, but you should just go check it out.

8. Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
I love this show.  It happens to be, in my opinion the funniest late night show on television.  I am watching Friday’s show right now, and my favorite segment is on… Friday Thank You Notes.  If you haven’t seen this – well, you are missing out.  For example, “Thank you, omlette, for being a much more popular way of saying ‘egg taco.'”  I mean, he just makes me laugh.  It could be the sleep deprivation, but I’m pretty sure I just find him hilarious.

Jimmy, if you happen somehow to read this, thanks for making me laugh, even at 4 in the morning when I want to just cry because I’m awake.  Also, if you want a photographer to come visit your show, or SNL if you ever host, I’m your girl.

Ok, now I am completely delirious.

9. Doctors
I see them again today.  Hoping they announce that I’m making progress and baby girl will join us soon.  I guess we’ll see.

Until then, I’m going to sip on some ginger ale and crushed ice.

Certifiably Insane?

2 Sep

As though we didn’t have enough going on, enough big changes, or major life stressors happening at the moment….

We’ve put our house on the market.

That’s right.  2 weeks into law school.  3 weeks from our due date.  We’re selling our house.

Yes, we could have (and arguably, should have) decided to do this earlier in the year.  Yes, we’ve been tossing around the idea for more than a year.  Maybe closer to 2.  We always decided, for whatever reason, that it wasn’t the right time.  Either we didn’t know where we would be (dependent upon law school acceptance), or I was pregnant and we didn’t want to add more to that stress (hahaha so much for that!), or we had just painted a new room and really liked it, or… well, you get the picture.

Last week, we decided that it was time.  I’m not really sure why.

We just like to live on the edge, I guess.

Or maybe we’re crazy.  But either way… here we go!

Here’s the listing!